Does 50 Shades of Grey Promote Abuse?

Does 50 Shades of Grey Promote Abuse?

As a 50 Shades of Grey lover I get asked all the time, is 50 Shades of Grey abusive? Actually let me rephrase that. I don't get asked, I get told. A lot of random people upon finding out that I love this book will flat out tell me that it's abusive and that I should be ashamed for liking it. Ahem...excuse me. My next reaction is to ask them whether or not they have actually read the book. Every. single. time the answer is no. (I have yet to actually meet someone who has read the book and still thinks it promotes domestic violence). This is a utterly ridiculous concept to me that I just can't wrap my head around. How can any person form a logical opinion on anything in this world unless they have investigated it for themselves.

This issue I have goes far beyond the book 50 Shades of Grey. While I love the book and will defend it against critics, the issue is in fact much deeper. Judging any medium based on absolutely no facts is abhorrent and honestly just makes the person look a little ridiculous. I can't stand it when someone tells me 50 Shades of Grey is abusive because Tumblr said so or they saw a hashtag on Twitter. Wow, you've really got me convinced now!

And when you really think about it, why is it that 50 Shades of Grey is catching all this flack? I mean there are certainly books that are much more graphic and violent that this book. For instance, there are books written about men forcing women into sex slavery and those two people subsequently falling in love. That in my opinion should be much more cringe-worthy to the masses than a little conceptual BDSM (Note: I actually like these types of books so I am in no way judging).

Back to the issue at hand though. Is 50 Shades of Grey abusive? The answer is absolutely not. NOT with capital letters. This book depicts a consensual (if not realistic) BDSM relationship. There are rules and limitations to the relationship and nothing is done without the main female protagonists consent. I know what everyone is going to say, "don't you remember the time he hit her?!" Yes, I in fact do. I read the book so I know that Anastasia consented to the "spankings" and that she was supposed to use her safe word if things got out of hand. She didn't use her safe word. You can call me callous all you want but no one can expect another human being to be a mind reader. If Anna had in fact had too much, she should have let her partner know that. I'm not even going to go into the fact that Anastasia is practically salivating throughout this whole book to be with Christian Grey. Not enough room in the world to count how many times her "inner goddess" jumps up and down at the thought of him. Totally sounds like abuse to me right? :-/

I have always had this theory that a book is a book, nothing more. It's not reality, but people tend to forget about this. A book can be anything. It can be crazy, wild, sexy, adventurous, murderous and that's okay because it's. not. real. There is no real need to judge a book on moral standards. A book is just something to take a person to another place and let them experience another way of life. Of course I'm not going to be in a BDSM relationship, fall in love with my captor, fly on a magic carpet, or go to freakin' Hogwarts in real life. That's okay, I can still enjoy the book.

One last thought: I've seen a lot of booktubers and book bloggers apologizing to their viewers for having an interest in reading this book or seeing this movie. It's sad that they feel they need to apologize at all. Everyone should read exactly what they want to read and never have to feel ashamed about it. As long as a person is reading I'm happy. :-)

Have a great and (considerate) day bookworms!